There is a general feeling in the public that IISc/IIT students are fundu,
unassumingly lost in thought almost all the time. And girls fare no better
in this respect. So let us see what a Non IISc/IITain may face when he
marries a girl from this campus.
SCENE: First night of the marriage.
CHARACTERS: IISc/IIT Bride and Non IISc/IIT Groom.
The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes to kiss her. So let us see what
would be her reaction..
GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS:
"Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with
respect to you. First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by
treating me in the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a
different inertial frame by producing waves of motion through your lips.
How do you prefer?
The guy faints.
GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
"Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you satisfy the following
Necessary conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta where
delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to zero and you
satisfy the closure property.
Sufficient conditions: You should have lips. Where the number of lips is
neither more than two nor less than two. You can also kiss by defining your
hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the above conditions.
The guy goes mad.
GIRL FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES:
"Oh Kissing, that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is
an initiating process for sex not only found in homosapiens but also in all
heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates, invertebrates and insects. Out
of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90%
of them seem to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is
very random with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kiss female
ant. First observe the behaviour of ants and cockroaches under various
conditions. That will be very interesting . Isn't it?
The guy has heart attack.
GIRL FROM CS (Computer Science):
"You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for
that very well. But you have to complete the process within 56.22 seconds
or else connection will be timed out. To optimise the timing lets do
parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future and other
things, let us do the process of discussion foreground and why can't you
put the process of Kissing background?"
The guy applies for divorce.
GIRL from EE (Electrical Engineering):
"So you would like to kiss me. The process of kissing is an age old
communication process. The information content of the signal transmitted
from one pair of lips to the other is more if the probability of the event
(of kissing) is less. Hence take care. If you want a successful
communication between us, you should kiss me less often. If the information
content is to be infinite, you should never kiss me at all!"
The guy is found hanging from a fan next day